pathetic

505 always makes me sad. it's one of the best songs arctic monkeys have ever written. i feel like something is ending right now. to be honest i did feel it a several times before but i always closed my eyes before it. j. has been giving me the shit for more than two years and i was never sick and tired enough of being dragged around, being given the shit, of biding his text or e-mail. i was so willing to believe that he could be the one i completely forgot considering that he might no be it.

i know my friends would love him. he's handsome and smart, he's funny and charming. a guy you would want to have next to you. a guy i would want to have next to me.

he did trap me again. how important is it to have the last word? can i leave it at this? is it worth fighting and giving it another go just to be disappointed again?

i don't want to play this game anymore. because at the end of the day all that matters is that you know who you want to put your arms around. it's not him anymore. or at least i'd like to think that.

stop and wait a sec
oh when you look at me like that my darling
what did you expect
i probably still adore you with your hands around my neck
or i did last time i checked